It never was

I am sad,
for that life
that never was.
That tender touch
I longed so much.
Dreams in my head,
Long ago dead.
The I love you,
Never said.
Good riddance
Sad the times
Void of all romance.
I trust and hope
That love I'll have again
Drowning out the old
Voices in my head
10/13/18

Feel Real

Feel Real
Write
Full of fright
Let go of the show
The how or why of what I try
Sad girl who wants to cry
Afraid of feelings true
Prefer to being blue

3 poems

1

Where did we meet

follow the heat, into the street.

We were afraid all in one day,

Into the night so full of fright.

So this I say, please do, please stay.

And I do pray my soul of bliss

You I will miss.

2

When I was young

Oh, life was fun.

Now I feel old

Lonely and cold.

I want to trust this heart of mine,

I need to give it just some more time.

3

John C

Remember John,

So full of fun

Witty and wild

Out of his mind.

Soon he'll be gone,

But not for long,

We'll meet again,

My sweet good friend.

He was always fun,

although a bit odd,

I know in my heart,

he's resting with God.

We Speak

We speak

We hurt

We cry

We love

I love

I hurt deep

Deep inside are feelings,

Dissatisfaction, unhappiness, questions.

I love

I hurt

FOOL!

Love hurts

Life hurts

Sadness, happiness, gladness

Love…

Hurts

So we cry,

So we die,

So it goes.

We’re all afraid

We’re all afraid of each other,

Afraid of the secrets

We’ll discover

So we hide

Alone into the night

Become brave

Explore and

Release our frights

I have found

The joy within

See the beauty

That hid therein

So off I said

Into the night

And say good-bye

And now take flight.

Crime

 CRIME

My biggest crime

was not speaking my mind.

I lost myself to second place.

Demands to you I feared to make.

Afraid to follow my own interests

for fear of leaving you behind.

I let myself get fat and blue

But I always felt in love with you.

I sometimes felt I was not good enough,

because at times you pushed me aside.

Afraid of your anger

fear that you would not love me,

I put myself in second place

I let myself lose my face.

I waited too late to speak my mind,

you were already into someone's behind.

You lied you cheated,

I don't know how long

I'm sad and broken, but I will go on.

Why did you do this?

Why didn't you speak?

Perhaps it was to make it easier

for me to leave.

If you had spoken,

If I had spoken

We might have had a chance.

I still feel this is a horrible dream.

You are in pain,

you are not happy,

you no longer need to take care of me. 

Why did you not speak the truth.

What you are doing is so uncouth.

God will show me a new life

and will help me end my strife.

There's a part of me that can't let go

because you see I love you so.

Perhaps it was done so I could see

What a terrible man you really are.

I don't deserve what you have done

I can't go to a pet store and get a replacement.

Your life will go on just the same

live with your pain, guilt and shame.

You will regret your dastardly deed,

that makes my heart hurt and bleed.

I am so hurt and angry too

but I'll move on without you.

Eight years of my life I spent

with you,

You throw me away like you don't care.

I can't believe you have another,

already renting  videos.

Well hump in bed you silly fool,

for in the end we all are dead.

I need to share these poems with you,

I don't know why nor do I care.

I'm still in shock about it all

You say you have nothing more to say,

but your thoughts will never leave your mind.

Enough already for today,

I must go back to sit and pray.

I now see my true beauty.

It's inside, and others see it too.

I am blessed with many friends

who are showing me the love

you could not share.

I feel sad and compassion for you,

to my heart I must be true.

This is so so very sad

and you bet I am mad.

I am physically is so much pain

my tears flow like rain.

I can't believe this is really happening,

but perhaps it really is the end.

I think your actions try to prove

that it's time for me to move.

Why did you not look inside my eyes

and help avoid me to cry.